Hope is Real. Help is Real.

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Asher Brown, a 13-year-old eighth grader at Hamilton Middle School outside Houston, shot himself in the head last week after being "bullied to death." And today 19-year-old Colton Tooley fired several shots at the University of Texas. Hearing this has me scratching my head, asking why... Why is it that a 13 year old kid would be so alone and so hurt by what other 13 year olds do that he has no choice but to take his own life. It saddens me that this happens so much in this country and so much in the last few years. While there is no way to reliably figure the exact ratio of attempted suicides to completed suicides, the National Institute of Mental Health believes that as many as 25 suicides are attempted for each one that is completed. That means that for this one 13 year old kid there are 25 others who are in the same place and have tried to take their own lives. There are 272 deaths a year by teens and kids just like Asher. If the statistic about 25 being attempted for every completed suicide that means that 6,800 kids feel the need to take their own life before they even get to live it. Something has to be done about this. This has gone on too long and everyone can help. Most kids who have suicidal thoughts said that they felt like nobody understood or cared. If there wasnt so much hate and everyone knew that they were cared about and mattered then this would not happen. We have become such a loathing, hateful society. As human beings we are capable of such enormous love and compassion, yet we choose to hate so freely. To tear down instead of build up. The truth is is that everyone can put a stop to this and make a difference in peoples lives and help people who are struggling. Im sure there were warning signs that went unnoticed and even if they were noticed they were only for "attention", well if someone is saying things for attention then THEY NEED ATTENTION. I mean I think we look at those people the wrong way. Sometimes they just need to know that they are loved and know that someone cares and that they will be missed. If you know someone that is suicidual you CAN make a difference and save their life. To Write Love On Her Arms has it right, To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.  TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery. Dont think that you can make a difference. Together we can all put a stop to suicide and make a difference!
Hope is Real. Help is Real. Your story is important.

Cutting Yourself Short

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It seems like everyone has on part about them that they don't like. Whether its because of their physical appearance, a disability, or for no reason anyone, including themselves, knows. But the problem I have noticed that a few people around me have is they let it run their lives. People who dislike themselves may acknowledge they have positive attributes but any emotional impact they have simply gets blocked out. They do not allow themselves to be successful.
The thing that I have noticed about people in high school is a lot of people are in search of love and instead of actually finding love they set themselves up to be hurt more and lower their self-esteem. A lot of people when this happens will turn to the opposite sex because they want to feel wanted and think that having someone want them will make them feel special. In reality most people end up getting hurt worst and lower their standards and settle for lower than they deserve because they have been hurt so many times and they feel like thats the only option they have. Thats how abusive relationships happen is because the person getting abused feels like the deserve it and that this is their fault.
 In other words, if we want to like ourselves we have to earn our own respect. Luckily, doing this doesn't require that we become people of extraordinary physical attractiveness or accomplishment. It only requires we become people of extraordinary character, something anyone can do.
A simple thought experiment supports this notion: think right now of your favorite person and ask yourself, what is it about them that attracts you the most? Odds are it isn't their physical appearance or their accomplishments but rather their magnanimous spirit; the way they treat others. This is the key quality that makes people likable, even to ourselves.
The truth is, we are a much better person than we let ourselves believe. We cut ourselves short by settling for less than we deserve in life. If we just realized that we are special and we are a great person than we can live happier and healthier lives!

Taking Advantage of Life

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They tell you that you can be whatever you set your mind to, but that's not true. I can't write a symphony or throw a baseball ninety-five miles an hour. The truth is if you try your best and better than your best, and work yourself some more, then if your have luck on your side, then you can live life to the fullest and be all the good things God made you to be.
I remember being a little kid and not having a worry in the world. I played all day with my friends,
built forts, played hide and seek, and had snack time. I didn't have to worry about a thing in the world because I knew my parents would take care of me. I was completely happy and yet I couldn't wait to grow up. Now that I'm older I realize how much responsibility and worries I have in my life. Growing up is overrated and i think we focus to much on tomorrow and not on today and the moment. If i got in a fight with a friend this morning we would be best friends again this afternoon. I really think that we had the concept of life right as kids! Forgiveness, snacks, naps, building forts, and being carefree is what we should be doing. Just like we knew that our parents would take care of us we should realize that God will take care of us. If you have a chance learn a lesson from a young child on how to be happy with life. And always be the friend to someone that you would want them to be.
I know that not many people have the superhuman ability to play in the MLB or be a professional songwriter. But I also know that everyone has a gift and should take advantage of every opportunity that is set before him. We sometimes cut ourselves short by not living life to the fullest and not trying our best to make the best out of life!

When is nap time?

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Today was the first day of my senior year. Its all crazy to think about to know that this time next year I will be starting college and working toward making my dreams come true. I start this new year with a new principal and superintendent who have new rules... Some of the rules I personally dont like but I respect them for their rules and plan to make the best of my senior year. When thinking of pursuing my dreams and making the best of my future I decided to provide a few tips...

1. Figure out your dream. How can you achieve it if you don’t know what it is? If you hate your job and you want to change jobs, do some serious soul searching and figure out what your dream job would look like. Where would you be? What would your office look like? Who would you work with? What would you do? What would you wear to work? How often would you be working? What would you eat for lunch? Be as detailed as you possibly can. You’ll be surprised how much you’ll learn just by asking yourself these questions. Write down your answers, so you can reference them later.
2. Timing is everything. If you don’t know what to do, it’s probably not time yet. When the time is right to act, you’ll know. Which leads us to #4…
3. Listen to your intuition. You’d be surprised how brilliant your inner wisdom is. Your gut knows more than any other individual ever will.
4. Believe that your dream will come true. Visualize it. Richard Bach said, “You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true.”
5. When the time comes to go after your dream, send doubters to time out. Chances are, you have all the criticism you can stand between your own two ears. Kindly inform well-meaning family members, friends, and co-workers that you’ve got plenty of self-critique happening already. What you need from them is faith in your ability to achieve your dreams- or silence. Which leads us to #7…
6. Gag your inner critic. This is the time to be your own best cheerleader. You won’t be able to eliminate that fearful voice of criticism within, but you can muffle it so it doesn’t drown out the stadium anthem music you hear when you dream big.
7. Make room in your life for your dream to come true.  Be careful what you wish for- because if you approach it right, it WILL come true. Then what? Build your life to hold space for your dream. Then when it comes true, you’ll be prepared.
8. Don’t be afraid to fly with eagles. You may have been living a sparrow kind of life, but if you’re dreaming big, you’re gonna be flying with eagles, baby! Let the eagles inspire you, but don’t let them make you feel small or unworthy. If I’d been afraid to fly with eagles, I wouldn’t have met Rachel. Dream big- FLY!
9. Work hard and stay focused. Few people who are living their big dream got lucky. Most worked to achieve their dreams.
10. Be gutsy and take risks. You may feel like you’ve jumped off a cliff and you’re free falling through outer space- and if you're living your dream, chances are, you are. Embrace it! The free fall is exciting, and you never know where you’re going to land. Jumping off the proverbial cliff means that anything can happen.“If you hold onto the handle, it’s easier to maintain the illusion of control. But it’s more fun if you let the wind carry you.” –Brian Andreas
11. Go with the flow. Once you’ve jumped off the cliff, ride whatever wave you land on. Quit fighting the current and just enjoy the ride. It’s how big dreams come true, when you finally quit fighting and let go.
12. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Grab the core of you, hold it close and keep it safe, but be willing to put the rest of you out there in the world. If someone rejects you, it’s not personal. Try again.
13. Nurture yourself. Get a massage, take personal days all to yourself, have lunch with a close friend, take a hike in nature, go on a retreat away from the family…whatever it takes to fill you up so that you’re overflowing and have more to give to your passion. It’ll serve you well when those doubters show up…

The Magic of Value-Based Happiness

It seems like every blog I write it has something to do about how we are not living life to the fullest. It seems like every person seems like they are not living life to the fullest. Sometimes we are so consumed with our daily lives that we forget to look at the larger picture of who we are and what we need to be happy. So it takes an extraordinary event such as a life-threatening illness, or the death of a loved one, to focus our attention on the meaning of our lives. Why is it that we have to have an event like this happen for us to value life and realize that we are not living it to the fullest?
We focus our lives so much on pleasure because we think that pleasure and doing what we like is what will make us happy. If everyone is chasing after the American dream and trying to gain all of the material things in life than why is it that it seems like everyone is unhappy? Its because we are chasing after "feel-good" happiness and it seems like the more we try to reach this the harder it is to come by.After you identify your most important desires, you need to find effective ways to satisfy them. There is a catch, however. Shortly after you satisfy a desire, it reasserts itself, motivating you to satisfy the desire all over again. The "feel-good" happiness is like a drug that takes more and more of it to get the same high. That is why we sometimes hit rock bottom, its not that things are going bad in our lives we are just not getting as much enjoyment out of the things in life we use to and we have no foundation for our happiness.
In order to achieve true happiness we need to focus on value-based happiness.  Value-based happiness is a sense that our lives have meaning and fulfill some larger purpose. It represents a spiritual source of satisfaction, coming from our deeper purpose and values. Since this form of happiness is not ruled by the feel-good high that we always work to maintain, there is no limit to how meaningful our lives can be. Value-based happiness is the great equalizer in life. You can find value-based happiness if you are rich or poor, smart or mentally challenged, athletic or clumsy, popular or socially awkward. Wealthy people are not necessarily happy, and poor people are not necessarily unhappy. Values, not pleasure, are what bring true happiness, and everybody has the potential to live in accordance with their values.

Why....

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Its a question that I think we all ask ourselves about things that go on in our lives. Why does bad things happen to good people? Why does it feel my life is falling apart? Its at this moment that a lot of people blame God wondering why this would be happening to you.. We ask ourselves this a lot of times when we lose someone that was close to us or was taken from us to soon. I know that I had a hard time when Jacob Williams left this earth and even Alex Brown when she passed away and I was filled with so much pain and sorrow. I know that several are feeling this same feeling with the recent loss of Michael Ybarra. I did not know Michael but i wish that i had because from what I have seen he was a great guy and he will be missed.
Its times like this that your faced with the feeling of not knowing what to do or where to turn. You find yourself sitting there crying and crying trying to figure out what to do. You pray to God and don't know what to pray because you miss this person so much but you know that it was Gods plan for it to happen this way. So what is it that we are suppose to do or say to God. I asked myself the same thing and was lead to Romans 8:26-27. "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts know the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."
Even though we are lost for words and trying to figure out what to do or think God hears our prayers and is with us. God is with us in the hard times and his plan will be revealed to us later in life. I know that even though both Jacob and Alex are not physically here on earth the impact they left behind has effected more people than they ever imagined. Jake taught all of us who knew him not only how to live life to the fullest but also how to die following God. Alex left and impact on all the people around us and even though she was killed in a car accident her story has saved hundreds of people and had an impact on their lives. I think that Michael is the same and his impact will be left with all those around him and Gods plan through all this pain will work out in the end. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the friends and family of Michael Ybarra. God bless and RIP Michael Ybarra!

Bringing Out The Michael Jordan In Us.

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Confidence... Even at an early age I remember always being taught to have it. I was always told that if I believed that I could do something, and worked hard enough anything was possible. But now I'm told that this is not always true. I can't write a symphony, or throw a fastball 95 mph. But even though there are certain things that we cant do I think that we constantly cut ourselves short. It seems like everyone is unhappy and constantly put themselves down because we have it set in our mind that we are not as good as we could be.

But where does this mindset come from? I think its because we live in a world that constantly tells us that we aren't athletic enough, pretty enough, thin enough, and just plain not good enough. People are constantly cutting us down to pick themselves up because they want to feel good about themselves. I think that we all could live a better life if we just changed the way we thought about ourselves and stopped tearing ourselves apart.

In 1982, in the NCAA national championship game North Carolina was led by a 19-year old Michael Jordan. With North Carolina trailing Georgetown 62-61 with 17 seconds left and Michael Jordan shoots a 16-foot jump shot that won the game and earned North Carolina the championship. That first game-winning shot was a turning point, Jordan pointed out in later years. It gave him the confidence that he could come through in the clutch. For the rest of his career when he needed to be the clutch player he came through because he had done it before and was calm in the intense situations. Michael Jordan became famous for this buzzer-beater shots and it all started with confidence and believing that he was able to make the shots because he had done it before.
I think that if we focused on all of the things we have done right in our lives and not the disappointments then we would live better and happier lives. By transforming our sense of self and telling our self that we have done it before and can do it again. We then will realize our ability and it will come through when it counts.
Failures can be as memorable as successes, and failure is always a possibility. But what separates world-class performers from the rest of us is the ability to put negative experiences behind them.