Life's Disappointments Started with Mom

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Disappointment is one of the first emotions we experience. One minute we are warm and safe, and then the next your being swatted on the behind, wiped down, handled by about have a dozen pairs of hands. So what do you do? You cry. You cry, and everyone laughs and claps, including YOUR MOTHER!!! You understand the world and it's disappointments right off the bat.
There are two types of disappointments. First, is disappointments we encounter everyday. Things like illness, death, a team we didn't want to be on, a friend who broke your trust, a test you should have passed, or our parents not letting us do something. Then there are disappointments of global proportions. The things you didn't ask for like world hunger, wars, and terrorist attacks. Of course some disappointments are brought about by our foolish mistakes and are consequences of our actions. These types of disappointments are easier to understand. But what about the other type of disappointments? The things we didn't ask for and the things that are harder to understand. How do we handle these things?
Dealing with things that we cant control is hard, and is even harder when we feel like we have to fix everything that has gone wrong. Whether it is losing a friend or not saying goodbye to a relative before they pass away there are somethings that we are left with that we are not able to fix. Sometimes temporary pain and disappointment is the price that we need to pay to open our lives to new possibilities and free ourselves from an impossible situations. Every situation is different and must be handled in accordance with its unique circumstances. Although it may sound like a cliché, there is truth to the saying that pain is sometimes the price that we must be willing to pay for growth.
I know that it's one thing to believe some of life's disappointments to be an opportunity and it's quite another to actually experience it that way. Life challenges are not inherently growth-producing. What determines whether or not they are is the attitude and inner resources that we meet those challenges with. All crises are potentially transformative in that they contain the seeds of new growth. Without disappointments there is no movement. Disappointment, or the desire to be free of them, often serves as a great motivator, but not always. Unless there is an ability to be present with the disappointment, and be informed and opened by it, the healing potential of emotional pain will be lost in a desire to escape suffering. It is the ability to move into and through disappointments with awareness that can make this process worthwhile and a learning experience.Sometimes we have to realize that we need to trust God and know that things will work out in the long run.

The Joys of Failure

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I have noticed that a lot of my blogs are really long so I'm going to give all of you people who read this a shorter blog this time. Everyone wants to be a winner and when we are young everyone gets a "trophy" for trying, but as we get older those rewards go away and we are taught to fear failure. Being taught to fear failure and not embracing it might not be the right thing to do in the long run. Because failure is sometimes an important step in creativity I thought that it would be a good thing for me to provide insight on.
All my life i have HATED losing and the thought of failing has left me being harder on myself when I have fallen short of my goal. I have cried after losing a playoff game, I have had to bring a report card home that wasn't what it should have been and I have made LOTS of mistakes. But now im starting to realize that I am the person I am today because of the failures and mistake I have made. Failure is an important part of creativity, risk-taking, and aiming high in my goals. If I'm not failing then i might not be trying hard enough. Some of life's most important lessons are taught through failure.
I think in order to be happy we must think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right in an atmosphere of growth. People get a boost from learning new skills,  and from experiences that provide an atmosphere for growth. However, while experiences and challenge bring happiness, along the way, they also bring frustration, insecurity, anger, and fear.... happiness doesn't always make us feel happy along the way.
I think that sometimes we spend so much time thinking and focusing on our past and thinking about what would have happen if we would have not had made the mistakes we had made. But I am glad that I have made the mistakes I have made because I know that I would not be anywhere near the person I am today if it wasnt for the mistakes I have made. I think that if we set our standards high and accept failure and think of it as a stepping stone to success than we will be happier with our lives. I know that this blog is not the length of previous ones but i think i got the message across, Im going to leave you with one of my favorite quotes.
“We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.”-Calvin and Hobbes

Life and Death: What is it that scares you?!

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Most of my post have been about life and how I think most people are not living life to the fullest. But I was thinking the other day that most people instead of focusing on living life to the fullest they worry about avoid death. Whether it is the thought of non-existence or the uncertainty of what happens after we leave this earth we all have a fear of death. But I think there is a difference between thinking about it and letting it consume our thoughts. But worrying so much about it cant be healthy and hinders you from living a happy life. I think that instead we should try to live life with no regrets. Live life so that when it is over the people around us know that we lived life to the fullest and the way life should be lived.
Lots of people believe that if you want to live successful life you must have well paid job, big houses, expensive cars and wear new fashion clothes. But very few people understand that happy life is not what you have in your material world, it is how satisfied you are about what are you doing in your life. Because people are not going to remember everything you had, they are mainly going to remember the type of person you were. You can either be seen as the person who was trying to make it to the top and cut people down on the way up or, the person who was willing to do anything for other people. Which of these people is the one whose going to have more people at their funeral? Which one of these people is going to have more tears cried because they are gone. It goes back to past post about the impact you have on people. Power and wealth only bring happiness when used to serve others. The ultimate success is to live life in a way that will enable you to feel free of guilt when you reach the end of the journey. I think that the world tries to tell us the opposite and that is why we live in a broken world that is constantly looking for happiness. The truth is if we only lived life like we did when we were kids we would be a lot happier. When we were younger we didn't worry about what others thought, or if we had more money than our friends. We didn't worry about dying or happiness because we were happy. Our worst enemies were our siblings and not other countries, war was a card game and not something that effected our everyday live. There were not race issues because the only time we worried about race was when we were trying to beat our best friend around the slide and back. What happened to that way of thinking and all that happiness. We grew up. We couldn't wait to grow up because it looked awesome but now that we are older we waste our lives trying to find happiness in the wrong places. True happiness is in the hearts of children and can still be found there.

I leave you with this final thought. If you believe that you come into the world with nothing and that you'll leave with nothing, you can give away everything you own while you are alive. Give away not only your money, but also your time and energy. Using your resources to serve others is the surest way to find happiness and prosperity. The most difficult hurdle you will encounter on the road to happiness is the leap from self-centeredness-self-interest-to other-centeredness. So what is it that makes you fear death or make you feel your not living life as well as you should? Feel free to comment, I love to hear other peoples opinions.

Heroes

Hero- a person who performs extraordinary deeds for the benefit of others.(Wikipedia)
Since I was a child I have always known the technical definition of a hero as being a person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life. I always was inspired by stories of knights, supermen and courageous men and women who did wonderful things and changed the world around them and thought of them as heroes. Then as i got a little older it changed to professional athletes and athletes that were from my school that were older. But recently when thinking about this and thinking that since I was older I might be a little kids hero and not ever realize it. So i decided to think about what a hero was to me. I came up with this, A hero is someone who does what he is afraid to do. A hero has a mind of such a balance that no disturbances can shake his will, but follows the music of his heart. Self-trust is what makes a person a hero, for if he does not trust in his capabilities he will not achieve what he proposes to himself. A hero is someone who will stand up and make a difference, not expecting any rewards.
I remember in 2001 right after 9/11 the firefighters and police that stepped up on that day and risked their lives were seen as heroes. The nation was inspired by these people who started September 11th just like any other day and when they were called to step up for this country they did and went to bed that night heroes. A few months later there was a little dribbers team that instead of being the Heat, Lakers, Spurs, or Knicks like the teams usually were, they decided to be NYPD, and NYFD in honor of their heroes and every ones heroes. But now that the years have pasted the only time it seems like I here the term "hero" it is talking about men and women who have died in war or doing something noble but i don't think that that is completely right.
To some degree a lot of us are a hero to someone. Whether it is a brother or sister or even a kid at school that we played basketball with, we may have a huge impact on someone and be their hero. So on thinking about this it got me thinking about how i live my life. Everyday am I living my life the way that I would want someone to see me living it? I have tried to be a positive influence to people around me and brighten their day and live life the way that I would want someone that I care about to live it. So as I end this I want to leave you with a quote that I came up with that I posted on my Facebook. "They say never judge a book by its cover, but isn't the cover trying to sell u the book? Sometimes what someone sees of you in your worst moments could be the type of person they see you as."-Cale Bloskas... So how we live our lives everyday or just one day could be the way that someone sees us and sometimes that is not the way we want to be seen.

Loving God

Today as I was coming home from Dallas, thinking and preparing myself for camp next week, I was reading in my bible when a verse caught my eye. "Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your soul and with all your mind.'-Matt. 22:37
As I was reading this, thoughts ran through my mind and I'm going to share a few of them with you. And if you're going to be out at camp this week or next you might hear them again. So this blog is going to be more spiritual and less philosophical than my usual blogs.
Matt. 22:34 is a familiar passage to many of us, but I think very few of us fully understand what it really means and can carry this verse out. Christ said in the verse that we not only have to love him, but also love him with everything we are. We have to focus our minds on God, since it is now your nature, because we are called to love him with our
minds .
I know that a lot of times thoughts cloud my mind that shouldn't and reflect on impure thoughts or ideas. But by doing that are we really loving God? No, God deserves our love and so we should concentrate on him. We have to let the words we say, the thoughts we think, and the feelings in our hearts glorify God to the best of our abilities. David addresses this subject in Psalms 19;14, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." David was a man after God's own heart and I think his verse shows us one example of why. Even though he didn't always do the right thing, David had the desire to glorify God. I think that we should allow this Psalm to be our prayer and philosophy this week, and the rest of our lives. Pray that the Holy Spirit will turn your thoughts toward God and that God will give you a love beyond human comprehension. And if you are like me sometimes you are discouraged because you don't know exactly what to pray or say to God in certain situations in our lives. One verse I have found that directly addresses this problem is Romans 8:26-27, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words can not express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance to God's will." So even though at times and situations in our lives when we don't know what to pray the Holy Spirit is able to translate our prayers to God so that he is able to see what in our hearts we are praying for.
But like I said just a few thoughts I was thinking about. I'm planning on doing a blog in the near future about heros in our lives and what makes someone a hero in our lives. I plan to write and post that one in about 2 weeks when I get home from camp.

June 11th

June 11, 2005: I was in Monte Vista, CO. I was on a youth group mission trip with my church and we had done this for several years. As everyone showed up to the church early in the morning we were informed to meet in the auditorium, not aware for what was about to hit us. Once everyone was there my dad, who was a sponsor on the trip, told us about the death of Jacob. It seemed like hours that we all just sat there crying, holding each other, and praying. It was one of the hardest days of my life, knowing that the person who truly taught me how to live life not matter what happens had taught me how to leave this world living life to the fullest. That was the first of only a few nights that I have actually cried myself to sleep.

I didn't know Jacob that well when he first got here but quickly heard stories and witnessed his amazing attitude quickly. One time he kept giving one of the teachers the wrong phone number so that she couldn't call his parents to tell them about him acting up in class. He was always making people laugh and even in the darkest times he was making everyone around him smile. The love that everyone in Anton had for him is unlike anything I have ever seen. When he was at school in a wheelchair I saw some of his friends pushing him around and making sure that he was as comfortable as possible. Jacob never was serious when you asked him questions and I only saw him serious and look scared once when I was sitting with my sister at a basketball and he was telling me about a trip to Houston. But after being diagnosed with cancer he still had the amazing joking attitude and maybe even had a more positive look on life. There are to many stories to tell about Jacob but one story that makes me smile was about one time when he was in the hospital. There was a nurse trying to put his IV in his arm and kept missing, instead of getting mad or something he simply asked the nurse if she should be doing this and that maybe she needed to be flipping burgers.

Jacob was an inspiration to everyone he encounter and changed every ones lives. He is the reason that I try to enjoy every moment of everyday and try to live life to the fullest. He overcame odds and did his best to prove all the doctors wrong. When the doctors told him he would never walk he told them he would walk the stage at graduation and he worked for that goal. Not only did Jacob walk the stage he walked down the rows of seat, up the stairs to the stage, across the stage, down the stairs and back out the door all on his own power. He not only met his goal but he proved the doctors wrong and proved that with God all things are possible. He knew that he could either hate life and be upset about what was going on in his life or he could do what he did and live life to the fullest and make sure that he takes advantage of everyday!

Even people who didn't know Jacob personally were touched by him. I remember our church giving him a "prayer pager" so that every time someone prayed for him they could leave their number and Jacob could know that people cared and were praying for him. It started as just the people locally praying for him and as his story spread there were people all over the nation praying for him. He and his family would even look up all the different area codes in amazement of what God can do and the good in people spread.

Jacob Williams is my hero and inspiration in life. He not only taught me how to live life to the fullest but to die with no regrets. I know that he is looking down on every single person that he influenced and seeing the impact that he had on my life and everyone elses. Everyone that knew him was lucky to have known him and I know that he has had the biggest impact on me that anyone ever has and has taught me a lesson on how to live life.

A few years ago i wrote a song about Jacob titled "Never Goodbye" it can be found on my Myspace page at www.myspace.com/calebloskas . There are two songs on there a funny one title the Oreo Song and then the song about Jacob titled Never Goodbye. The quality sucks on the song and my singing is horrible since I recorded this 2 years ago. So don't listen to the singing to closely. I know that my prayers are going out to the Williams family and everyone who was touched by his life as we remember and celebrate his life 5 years later. We love and miss you Jacob and out lives will never be the same!

Living Life To The Fullest

"It is crazy how certain little things can make you think about life. Make you realize that you might not be living your life to the fullest. And make you realize that you just need to live life because you never know when you won't be able to. Just look for the positive things in life and don't worry about the negative. Learn from mistakes, but never regret."-Cale Bloskas

I have posted this as my status on Facebook a few times in the last few months as different things in my life have reminded me of this. It might have been someone that i knew that died or maybe just thinking about how thankful I am that someone is in my life. I'm reminded every single day and sometimes several times in one day about just how short life is and how we never know how much time we have on this earth. Everyday I have a bracelet on that reads "Alex Marie Brown †12-29-91/11-10-09†". I'm constantly asked what my bracelet says and who Alex was and I am reminded and have the chance to tell them who she was. This just reminds me what I have to live life to the fullest and not take advantage of any opportunity. There has been a few people in my life that have made a huge impact in my life and died at an early age. This has left me to wonder if it really is true that the good really do die young...
I have always wanted more than anything to make an impact in peoples lives and when I'm gone to be remembered as a great person. I have always tried to never regret anything I have done because i honestly don't think I would be the person I am today if i would have not made the choices I have made. I have realized that everyone who is in my life is in it for a reason and the people that are not in my life are not meant to be there. I know of several people who have made a huge impact in my life and I know if they weren't in my life I would not be where I am today. I have a lot of interesting and crazy things happen to me and it seems like every week I have a new story of something that has happened to me that has inspired or humored me in someway. I will tell you about something that happened to me this past week at Op Camp.
As you might remember there is a kid that I talked about in an earlier blog about him being abused at home and how he told me about it last year at Op Camp. Well, this year I tried to make sure I was his counselor because I felt that I had a connection with him and thought I could make an impact in his life. It turns out that I spent a lot of one on one time with this kid over the week because of several experiences and ended up growing very close to him. This kid respected me and wanted to hang out with me as much as possible. For example, one morning I was putting up the flag as all the kids went into to eat and it took longer than it should have because I had a few difficulties. To my surprise when i came into the dining hall there was the kid I was talking about sitting on a bench waiting for me because he didn't want to eat or get in line without me. This inspired me and made me realize that I had in fact made an impact in a young kids life that is not as blessed as I am.
I was sent to this camp to make a difference in these kids life, but could it be that these kids were sent to the camp to also make an impact in my life? I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason and every person is in my life for a reason. People spend so much time worrying about little things in their life that we don't realize all the good we have in our lives. I think that if we focused on the good in life and the good in people in our lives we would live a much happier and fuller life!!! If everyone was not selfish, and actually thought about each other we could have a difference in the world. We live in a cutthroat world where you are suppose to do anything to be the best and look out for yourself. But i think that it should be the opposite and we should try to impact other peoples lives because we are in there life for a reason and they could end up having a bigger impact in our lives than we could ever expect. I have always believed that if i was faced with the chance to jump in front of a bullet for someone I would. Because not only would there be a better chance in both of us living because the chances of me only being injured would be greater but also, if I was to die i would be dying in the way that I would want to do it and be making a difference in several peoples lives and would die a hero.
I have been blessed with several people in my life that I have tried to be the best friend i could be. I have a friend who is abused that knows i will come pick them up anytime and have done it before. I have a friend who is slowly dying of a rare illness and I'm enjoying everyday as a gift that they are still in my life. And I have several friends who have been there when i needed them most and I have also been there for them. I would not change any of these people in my life for anything because of what I have been through because of them has taught me more than I would have ever learned on my own. I try to be the best person I can and be the best friend I can to the people in my life and I think that if the world had this mindset it would be a better world.
But some of the greatest leaders and thinkers that have walked the earth have thought this exact thing and it has not changed the world. But i believe that the world does not have to do this for me to have a better life. I think that if i try my best to do this I can make a difference not just in my life but in the lives of the people around me. I'm sorry if some of this blog jumps around i honestly just type what pops in the head as my hand hits the keys. Trust me this made a lot more sense in my head and sounded better. But that's okay maybe someone will benefit from this, please tell me any comments you have and God Bless!!!!